The One Where My Book Had Surgery

You may remember me mentioning a while back that I had a one hour conversation with an agent. (If not, go back to the post before last - aptly titled One Hour With an Agent - and catch up with the rest of the class)
For those of you who didn't go back and read, I'll review:
I was advised to make my 95,000 word MS into a 70,000 word MS, based on the fact that my two MC's were thirteen years old thus making the book Middle Grade.
Traditionally acceptable length of a debut Middle Grade novel is 70,000 words.
I immediately told the agent, "I can do that." As in "I can take off 25,000 words."
I said it without batting an eye.
Some of you may have wondered "WHY? Why would you do that?!"
Because as much as writing professionally is an artform, it is also a business. Agents are not the writers. Agents are business-people. They live, eat, and breathe their business (at least the good ones do) so when an agent tells me that my book is Middle Grade, and my Middle Grade book needs to be 70,000 words - I listen. Because as intimately as I know the world I've created these people know the writing business.

However, before my re-write could begin. I had to hear back from my Critique Partners. You see, CP's are invaluable (especially the ones I've lucked into finding). Tragically (for me) the same week that I had this conversation with the agent was the same week my CP's and I traded work. Which means, I wouldn't have their feedback for...two weeks?...three weeks?....a month?...TWO Months?!
I had no idea, but as soon as I knew to cut down my work my brain found several scenes to delete, a character to discard, and a few scenes to shorten. It would have been foolhardy to begin making those changes without a fresh pair of eyes to tell me what changes they thought I should make.
So...I did what any smart person would do...I waited.

First thing my Re-Write taught me: Time is actually on your side (believe it or not)
My CP's (Alex Pierce and Phalia Kester) are brilliant, awesome, and wonderful - not to mention very talented.
Alex and I actually got to chat at length about one another's work. Phalia's mark-up was thorough and made me feel terrible about some of the chapters and paragraphs I made her trudge through - I loved it!
I learned that I had a chapter that was action-packed but didn't advance the overall plot in any way or shed any new light on my characters. Despite being with me since draft one (almost completely unchanged) that chapter was removed.
A positive, offhanded note by one of my CP's led me to a completely different ending that I may not have discovered without them expressing their opinion.
If I hadn't waited for their feedback, and ran full-speed ahead I would have missed out on what my readers think makes my story great, and not so great. In fact, I had plans to focus on an aspect of the story that neither of my CP's particularly cared for in the writing.
Allow me to quote Sondheim: "Easy now, hush love hush, don't distress yourself what's your rush?"

So 28 days ago, my Re-Write began.
To be clear this didn't start as a re-write. I started out by removing the character that didn't fit anymore in the story. I also removed certain aspects of the world that needed to be omitted for the sake of word-count, and certain "fun things" that I included to make the story more enjoyable for me.
*Note: let your story be "fun" first before you add "fun things" it will make the revision process significantly easier.*

After removing all of those things, and I strictly mean Removing. As in: highlight the text that mentions ______, and press delete. After that...I had 72,000 words. I was still over the mark and I hadn't even patched the disparate pieces of the manuscript together. I hadn't found new ways to convey the information that the character that was removed provided.
That was when I knew...We were at Defcon 12...I had a full scale Re-Write on my hands.

Funny story: I write each chapter in a separate Word document. It keeps things from running together for me, and allows me to focus on the specific goals within that chapter.
Funny story #2: I can't write without knowing exactly where the chapter is going. I need a beginning sentence, and an ending scene or I just pace around my apartment aimlessly until one comes to me.
Funny Story #3: Word documents have file sizes. Oddly enough similar file sizes have similar word counts. I discovered I could track myself as I was writing so I didn't have to go back later and begin trimming all over again.


I'm a freak about details. What a character reads (or doesn't read), how they dress, what music they listen to, what city they grew up in, what city they moved to when they were ten, what their parents/children/relatives do for a living - all of those (and everything else) are important to me.
I've told you before that my story started out at 113,000 words...well that was the Fourth draft.
The second this this draft taught me: Trust the reader.
You see I learned that I need those things - the reader doesn't. I can't explain it any clearer, but I can tell you that if you know those things, they'll come across in the writing even if you don't mention it
*Note: my favorite way to learn about a new character is to find a top 10 list of their favorite songs. Trust me, it works wonders*
**but don't share that list with your readers!**

The 95,000 word draft that my CP's read...both of them mentioned how my MS could have been split into two books.
That threw me for a loop.
It also told me I was doing something wrong. It told me that I was allowing sub-plots to become as important as the primary storyline. No way Josephine!
Third thing the re-write taught me: Know the heart of your story.
It sounds simple, and you may think you do (I know I did!), but art is subjective, and there comes a point when the audience's perception matters more than the artist's intent.
113,000 could not have become 95,000 which could not have become 71,000 if I didn't take a step back (a day off writing) to find out Not what my characters wanted, Not where the storyline was headed, Not who my characters were, Not what the subliminal theme of the story was...I needed to recognize the roots of my story.
Bianca and Scarlett's story is based off a lesser-known Fairytale. I think the full length version is maybe seven pages.
Seven pages written in the long ago and far away was the root of my story. It was the adventure I expounded upon that gave birth to a thousand plotlines and over a bajillion major and minor characters. (those figures are a rough estimate)
Reading the 95,000 word draft I could see where and how I had fallen off track. I found the heart of the story and focused on that, and restrained myself from extravagance. (Not an easy task for me)


Fourth thing I learned during my re-write: Less is More.
Do I worry that too much has been removed? Yes.
Do I worry that my characters will read flat because my readers don't know what they're wearing everytime they change clothes? Yes!
Do I worry that my world-building will seem lax because I didn't have enough words to tell you about the social hierarchy of my Faerie society? Yes.

But at the end of the day am I proud of what does exist on the page? Yes!
And that's the key.
You see, just like no one is promised tomorrow, an author writing what he/she believes to be a Middle Grade Epic Fantasy series isn't promised a book two.
Just like eating healthy, quitting bad habits, etc increases the probability of a tomorrow for all the men, women, and children crawling across the face of the earth; a well written Book One increases the probability of a Book Two.
An easy example: If J.K. Rowling tried teaching us the in's-and-out's of Wandlore in Sorceror's Stone some of us may have fallen off the Harry Potter train. If we learned about Patronuses before Harry could cast one, or if we casually heard about Dementors before they became relevant we would have been bored with the actual adventure searching for the Sorceror's Stone, or discovering the Chamber of Secrets.
Too much of the right thing at the wrong time is just as bad as a terrible ending.
No info-dumps, nothing extraneous to the here and now of the story should exist in any MS. If "here and now" is fantastic then that will make us excited and surprised for when Later arrives.

The last thing that I'm comfortable sharing with you about what I learned during my Re-Write: You need a break.

I'm hasty. I'm all or nothing. I'm one hundred miles an hour. We'll stop and smell the roses as soon as we get to where we're going!
That's not the way to write a book (or to live your life, but it's easier for me to apply it to writing. I'm still working on the slow-down-life thing).
There were days - especially in my final 6 chapter stretch where I knew exactly what needed to be put on the page. I knew where the story was headed, I knew every scene, and who did what...but I couldn't write it.
My battery died. My well ran dry.
(I distinctly remember singing "The River Won't Flow" from Jason Robert Brown's Songs for a New World in my kitchen)
This happens. You'll survive. It's terribly frustrating, but it's your Muse telling you that you're missing something, and until you shut up and let him/her work it out you guys are just going to fight....and you'll never win a fight with a Muse.
Now, I have to stay away from all things fantasy when I'm writing. Movies, books, tv shows...my Muse is easily confused, and she'll start to focus on the story I'm watching/reading instead of the one I'm writing.
Bad News Bears.
So I started watching Friends AKA the How I Met Your Mother of the 90's.
A) I could write an entire blog post about the amazingness of a show I never watched while it was on the air.
B) Find your Friends. Find something completely unrelated to your writing that you enjoy. Be it tap-dancing, yodeling, Julia Roberts RomComs, or listening to old country music as you drive around the neighborhoods you can't afford to live in. Find the thing that distracts you and allows your Muse to do its thing.
When you get back to the pages you'll find that the better part of you has been hard at work, and your little day off was worth it's weight in gold.
C) The title of this blog is a nod to Friends

Alright guys, that's all I've got for tonight.
Forgive the helter-skelter nature of this entry. It's been a while since I've blogged, and without a thorough outline I tend to ramble. I promise more frequent posts in the days to come (and hopefully more cohesive). I've missed you guys, and until my next mad-dash at revisions I'll be here expelling my thoughts onto the walls of my little corner in cyberspace.

Until we meet again!

(Spoiler Free) Review: CODA by Emma Trevayne

CODA Back cover summary:

"Deep in an abandoned basement, Athem sings of a truth and freedom with his illegal underground band. Yet on the surface and under watchful eyes, Anthem is unable to resist the call of the Corporation's addictive, mind-altering music tracks, even as he knows they are used to control him and his fellow citizens.
When tragedy strikes close to home, Anthem realizes that defying the Corp comes at a deadly price...and the stakes of preventing his brother and sister from being claimed by the government drug are worth every heart-pounding second. The key to the revolution might lie with the girl Anthem loves, but will he trust her enough to let her join the fight?"

Let me begin by saying that the best part about this novel is that the story itself is so much more than this summary would have you believe.
So often I've read books that merely live up to the story on the back cover or inside flap; CODA surpasses all expectations to create a rare, rich, dystopian fantasy that will leave you breathless every step of the way.

It's hard for me to get behind a protagonist. I never really fall in love with them as much as the world built around them, or the supporting characters.
Anthem is the first protagonist I've loved in recent memory. The story is told in first person, and Ms. Trevayne is so talented that every positive and negative raw human emotion is succinctly but effortlessly conveyed so by the time you finish the book there is a distinct feeling of loss once you realize that Anthem isn't a real person out there making music just for us. The narration is so intimate but doesn't feel contrived, or as if it is pandering to the reader. The honesty in Anthem's voice is a testament to the magic inherent in a writer's craft; something that Ms. Trevayne has mastered in her debut novel. It isn't that you sympathize with the character, it's that you empathize with him; if you were in his shoes you would think his thoughts and feel his feelings.

As for the story itself, you're thrust into this strange and disconcerting world where music is used as a crowd-control drug by a tyrannical government. Surprises and tricksy sleights of hand abound from one chapter to another. These surprises don't lose the reader or make it seem like Ms. Trevayne was trying to trick us. They are as natural as Anthem's emotions, and like all well-timed reveals lend a considerable measure of excitement to the story. The shocking moments are just that - shocking - no lead in, no heavy-handed foreshadowing; the story simply moves along then BAM! something you took for granted or didn't give a second thought to hits you like a runaway train.

The world is our own. That is to say Ms. Trevayne has somehow accomplished crafting a terrifically complex, futuristic society without losing the reader in jargon, unfamiliar gadgets, or the idiosyncracies of an almost completely foreign culture.  Though the world and plot are as intricately woven as the loveliest tapestry we never lose sight of the big picture because of a loose thread. The pacing is tight, and after what seems like an hour you've finished CODA, and yearn for its sequel (Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there will be a sequel!)

The most surprising, pleasant, and laudable aspect of CODA is its sheer uniqueness. I've never read anything like it, and I can't identify the literary roots of its inspiration.
We've all been there. We're reading a book and we see something that makes us think of ____ in that book we loved from years ago. Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, World War Z, Game of Thrones, and Twilight were the springboards for many bestsellers and Book Club selections out there right now. There's certainly nothing wrong with a source of inspiration, or finding a new facet on one of those brilliant gems. However, CODA, reminds us of what a breath of fresh air feels like.
Because it is labeled "Dystopian fantasy" CODA will inevitably be compared to Divergent, but that's like comparing The Wonderful Wizard of Oz to The Chronicles of Narnia (hint for the uninitiated - the similarity for those two stops at being Portal Fantasy for kids)
CODA has no peer; it is an astonishing combination of plot, high-concept world building, and characterization that hasn't been seen in teen fiction for quite sometime. It is my sincerest hope that it gets the recognition it deserves, and becomes the new source of inspiration that guides us toward the next trend in YA literature.
CODA delivers daunting complexity with the all style and grace of a ballet. Ms. Trevayne is the Prima Ballerina that makes the dance look elegant yet simple.

So for all of you looking for something that will bend your mind, make your heart race, and keep your fingers turning pages long into the night then without reservation I recommend CODA.  Let me know how much you enjoyed it...more importantly, let Emma Trevayne know! You can find her here on Twitter.

Happy Reading!

One Hour with an Agent

I've been quiet for a while, and when I'm quiet that means I'm thinking...it means I'm nervous.

This might be news for some of you, but a little over a week ago I got the amazing opportunity to Skype chat with an agent!

Short version: I won a blog contest sponsored by Authoress. The Tiny Agent contest. There were twelve photographs of various agents as younglings.
I love pictures. I'm a picture fanatic - not taking them, but looking at them. You are looking at a moment never to be re-created ever again. The feelings, the face, every single thing about that exact moment is unique. I'll spare you more in depth commentary than that; suffice it to say pictures are one of the most magical things ever invented in my opinion.

I only guessed on three agent photographs. They were the three that I already followed on Twitter.

The next day the winners were posted, and I hopped on over to see who won. Keep in mind, that I didn't enter the contest to win anything; I just thought it was a fun game - and I love photographs. Besides, I only guessed on three out of twelve.
Imagine my surprise when MY name was on the list of winners...

I e-mailed the Anonymous Authoress to claim my prize, and a few hours later I had a Skype chat scheduled with Agent A.
If you recall my previous blog post, The Prince of Purple Prose Tries to Abdicate the Throne, I mentioned Agents A, B, and C.
This agent was Agent A.
From my perspective we had already met, and now the universe has conspired to embarrass me further by causing me to heckle someone who has already told me "No".

I seriously considered declining. If only for a moment. Not necessarily declining, but maybe not claiming my prize. After all, someone else was more deserving; I already had my chance.

But then I realized how Not-Often such a thing happens - not to mention how Not-Often I win something - so we scheduled the Skype session, and I spent the next day and a half panicking.

I woke up Friday morning at 7am (our chat wasn't for another two hours) I spent an hour and fifteen minutes performing every single one of my morning ablutions as if this were someone I had been romatically courting for sometime and this was the "third date". I must say, I looked as flawless as I possibly could.

Every curl was in place, eyebrows perfectly tweezed, it was even the inaugural wearing of my Malificent tee from Threadless.com. I was so ready...
9:01 arrives and I see the smiling face of Agent A, and I hear their voice.
(Sidenote: I could write a whole entry on voices; how I think they are just as unique as a fingerprint, and how absolutely thrilling I find hearing the speaking voice of someone whose texts/tweets/blogs you read on a daily basis is.)
Agent A  broke the ice beautifully. When I'm in control of a situation I find charm and general conversation easy; when I'm the lowly one in a conversation I am entirely lost for words. I got to say "Good morning" and stammered out a couple of questions, and they took off with polite conversation.
About 6 minutes in they asked, "Can you see me?"
I replied in the affirmitave.
"Hm. Okay. Well, I can't see you..." they said.
My heart literally stopped beating for approximately 3 seconds.

I still don't know what happened. But in the next few minutes after they hung up and called back trying to assist me in getting it to work (Oh the torture! You don't even understand the embarrassment!) my internet dropped completely and the call was lost. When they called back we were both completely without video, and basically we carried on the rest of the conversation while I stared, nodded, and made Colten-Phone-Faces at the computer screen.

We spent an hour on the phone. Some ice-breaking, and the two minutes of "Can you see me now?" Hell; then we segued into the thing that I was too nervous to talk about, but the thing that an Agent and an aspiring author should talk about - my book.

"Actually," I began, "I believe you've already had an introduction to my work..."

We shared a laugh, and Agent A began to peruse a re-vamped version of my query I'd sent prior to our conversation.

Now here's where you other pre-published authors pay attention...

Agent A noted the ages of my characters. Bianca and Scarlett are 12 when the story begins, but approximately halfway through the book they turn 13. It's an important event within the story.
"This is Middle Grade, not Young Adult," says Agent A.

My heart sank.
See, I don't think I have what I would consider a MG voice. That's been one of my woes in categorizing my story in my queries. At some points the writing is...dark. The narration expresses character thoughts and emotions that I commonly read in YA but rarely see in MG. Hence my uncertainty regarding voice. I couldn't have been wrong all this time could I?

Agent A explains that given the borderline ages of the characters it may be categorized as Upper MG Fantasy - allowing for darker moments, but publishers are now (moreso than ever before) more stringent in regards to categories as a result of the flooded market.
"Readers, especially younger readers, tend to read about characters that are older than they are," Agent A explained. "So if you're characters are twelve/thirteen then you can expect nine, ten, eleven year olds to be the ones reading your book."
My mind exploded in that moment. Common sense! How had I not recognized this before? I was the 9 year old reading about teenagers. Middle grade doesn't mean your characters are necessarily Middle Grade...it means your readers are!

Next big thing:
"You've noted that it's the first part of a series," Agent A observed. "Be careful. Some agents balk when they see the word 'series'. Ultimately, not to sound harsh, but it isn't necessarily you who decides if your book is a series. It's your sales. You can plan or hope for a series, but realize that book one needs to stand on its own because if it doesn't sell then your publisher will not want book two."

This is something I had already considered (thank goodness). Bianca and Scarlett's first adventure does stand alone (it lays A LOT of groundwork - but it stands alone).
I've noticed a few writers on Twitter with itchy writing fingers. They don't have an agent, they've been looking for a while, and their querying while writing the next five novels in their space opera. I always backed away from that kind of behavior (sometimes my best-friend Kim would have to pull me back). This is a business. It's best not to forget it. And writing a page of book two before someone tells you book one is worthy of being on a shelf at a bookstore is presumptuous at best, and utter foolishness at the worst.

Finally...the thing that has been the bane of my writing existence since day one.......

"Whoa!" Agent A said when they saw my word count. "96,000 words is too long for Middle Grade...It's rare to find a Middle Grade over 70,000 words."

In truth, Agent A isn't the only agent with that opinion...Agent Kristin Nelson also comments on word count here.

But I had a plan. See I took out the over-writing, but now with this news my mind instantly flew to a character who I had been considering removing from the manuscript since January. Agent A's advice just convinced me to write this person out of existence. ...Truthfully, I didn't mourn the character - he was kindof an ass.

"I can fix that," I replied with assurance.

There was uncertainty in Agent A's tone: "You can cut 25,000 words? That's over a quarter of your manuscript."

"There's a character that needs to go," I replied, "and other things that can be moved to future books if it's allowed to be a series."

"Well if you think you can..." Agent A replied.

"Consider it done," I promised.

A few minutes later our conversation came to a close, and I was invited to use Agent A's first name. (It took all of my reserve not to squeal)

.....Later that day one of my CPs and I traded manuscripts. In getting to know him I definitely trust his critique - a trust that has exponentially increased since getting to read his work. I wanted to wait until he had a chance to review my MS before making any changes. I didn't tell him at first how many words I was looking at cutting, or which character I'm looking to do away with (he still doesn't know that). I wanted an unbiased critique. I wanted to see if he naturally came to the same conclusion I did...so on and so forth.
In the meantime, I've been writing up all of my CP critiques. I've finished reading all the MSs, all of them have their strengths and weaknesses. In looking at other's work with a critical eye my mind always travels back to my own work, and what it is missing. I get the first one sent out tomorrow, and the next ones will follow as I finish writing them.
Now, when the time comes and I get my critiques back (I hunger for that day) I can dive in with a machete in each hand. What was once a wild jungle, became a fenced-in preserve, then a cultured forest, and now it must be transformed into a stately garden - with only the best, most appealing flowers and trees on display. 

Now, do not misunderstand, fellow writers. These 25,000 words aren't going to go quietly, even with removing a supporting character and moving a few to Possibly Someday. Those people don't get much screen time anyway. They're important to how the story is written now. They add an interesting dimension to the world, but ultimately the story (at least book one) can be told without them.
I'm truly worried at losing less that what I intend to lose.
When I take out X characters I still have to accomplish the same purposes that those characters served by giving Oliver, Scott, Mrs. Hamilton, and Vanessa bigger roles than they already have, but doing it in such a way that it doesn't add words.
 I'm going to have to experiment and play with what must come and go, but I do know that the more words, scenes and characters that end up on the cutting room floor will mean that only the most necessary elements of my story remain - and shine.
It's definitely going to take work.

But that's all I needed. If someone had said straight out of the gate months ago: your word count should be ____, and your book is categorized as _____; I could have already been done.
We can research until our eyeballs bleed, but even Agent A stressed that guidelines like this are exactly that - Guidelines. This is a subjective industry, and as a result there isn't a magical formula that you can follow for landing an agent, or publishing a novel. But I'm a person who works best with deadlines and guidelines. So this nudge in the right direction was all I needed.
What about you?
What are some little known facts you've come across in your research or experience?
I hope someone out there found this helpful; let me know if you did!

Until we meet again...

What the World Needs Now...(and always)

I'm about to be more sincere than I like to be with total strangers...

Tonight before I wrote this blog I watched Disney's Pocahontas. If you follow me on Twitter you know that me watching such a thing isn't terribly unusual - often I live-tweet, and unabashedly admit that I'm singing/dancing along.
Pocahontas is special though; it falls in that family of films - there are a handful - that never fail to make me think: "If I were to go back in time and show this to people of (the approrpiate time period) then they could see their foolishness and maybe change hearts and minds. They would be profoundly altered for the better!"
This may be a naive thought, but I believe it with my whole heart.

As I was watching Pocahontas I was regularly checking Twitter, and the wonderful agent Eric Ruben Re-Tweeted NBC's @BreakingNews:

"Poll: majority of Americans support same-sex marriage with 53 poll respondents favoring it..."

The link to the article was attached.
I retweeted of course; it's a small, but wonderful accomplishment to celebrate.
The tweet however wasn't what caught my eye.
It was the first - and at the time of this blog Only - response to the tweet by a woman who (in this blog) will remain anonymous:

"@BreakingNews @NBCnews majority of americans were not polled. I don't support gay marriage and was not polled"

This really and truly hurt my feelings.  That may sound childish, or it may not carry the vehement disgust that some of you may believe it merits. In truth, the words of this stranger did not make me angry. I was not outraged, or taken aback; I was simply hurt.

I'm half-black.
One hundred years ago I would have been looked down upon (and in some parts of the world for some people that viewpoint hasn't changed). Certain human rights would have been denied me because of how I was born.
I feel so fortunate to be born as a child of the 80's who didn't have to suffer the animosity and struggle during the Civil Rights movement of the 60's.
But here I am, free. I attended school with all white children (almost without incident), I made exceptional grades, obtained a scholarship to a University I loved, and I now am a working adult who makes enough money to pay his bills and buy enough books on the side to keep me entertained and inspired.

But I can't marry the man I sleep next to every night. The Law (in my state) says I can't marry him.



I haven't followed the story of the man who was pulled from his partner's hospital bedside. I've seen the headline on twitter. Such stories make me sick to my stomach, angry at humanity, and at the end of it all I feel almost as powerless as I do right now.

It makes me angry because it makes me afraid. What if L (my partner, my love, my -in spirit- husband) got in a car wreck on his way home from work? He has no family to speak of - what happens then? Who will watch over him and care for him if not me?

That woman (who responded to the tweet), and people like her do not care who will visit my Love in the hospital in an emergent situation. They do not care that I will be taking care of that hospital bill. They do not care that when I crawl into bed every night that I sleep next to someone whose love has transformed me into a greater human being. They don't care that after two and a half years of kissing him I still get butterflies, how much of a cuddle-bug he is, or how my world becomes complete when he laughs.

I am being denied the right of marriage because of how I was born.
I will not get into this debate with anyone. Simply accept from before the time I could vocalize my feelings I was attracted to men. It is not a choice.

Pocahontas, Aida, The Help, Schindler's List...I could go on with the myriad of films and plays that demonize predjudice, preach against racism, and demonstrate the consequences of such thinking.

It is time for homosexuals to have their own "Uncle Tom's Cabin"; their own "Pocahontas"...

The challenge is a phenomenal one. The malice behind homophobia is far more insidious than any other in recent history. It has settled into the hearts of men and women; it has made it personal for each and every man and woman regardless of sexuality.
From what I have seen homophobia is fostered by the lie that if you agree that "gay is okay" then somewhere inside you must not only approve but also long to participate in that activity.

Homosexuals and their advocates have looked within themselves, and accepted whatever truth that rests there. They have found a certain kind of peace regarding themselves that defies description. The introspection and the (even momentary) uncertainty that allows for such a truth to be discerned is what terrifies a homophobic mind in my opinion.

What story can break that hold? What story can be told that makes them "see the light"? I don't believe it is simply a Love Story that we can tell - it must be more than that - a Love Story yes, but one for the ages.
Homosexuality among women generally isn't frowned upon - so long as it is strictly sexual. Men have enjoyed fantasies, films, and magazines depicting two women physically enjoying one another since time immemorial.
It is the Love that terrifies them, not the sex. So our story must then go beyond Love; or perhaps guide others toward a greater understanding of it.

The enemy is always the same. It has never changed; it simply wears a different suit of armor, and wields a different weapon.

Our enemy is Ignorance and his child, Fear.

I could go on, but I feel as if I've said too much.
I wrote this calling out to You. You - the one who read this and thought of that perfect story. The one that will write "Uncle Bruce's Fire Island Cabin" (I jest, but you know what I mean). We need something definitive. We need true Art crafted to break barriers, open minds, and change hearts.
I hope you're reading this.
I don't want my best friend's great-grandchildren watching a film 100 years from now and think "If I could have just gone back to 2013 and shown this to them then there wouldn't be any need for all of that arguing!"  

To the rest of you with me here in the trenches remember that this battle needs to be fought with Love, Kindness, and Respect.
Never forget our enemy is willful Ignorance. We must be patient and persistent with delivering Knowledge. That is the only way we will dispel the fear.

Love is the only permanent solution to hate.

Until we meet again...

"It's Always Best to Start at the Beginning..."

For those of you who know me well, you'll know that the title of this post is a quote from my favorite movie as well as being a simply stated truth.


It's a quote from this lovely woman:
 
                         

Every so often on Twitter an agent will comment about a book shouldn't start with your main character eating breakfast, looking in a mirror, waking up, etc...



Basically, if it's something that doesn't move the story immediately forward then the reader doesn't need to read it. Since the reader is human, and the character is (most likely) human then we all understand a morning routine, and if your character's morning routine is the same as everyone else's then move on. I know Dorothy probably woke up and brushed her teeth and fixed her hair in the mirror - that didn't get her to Oz any faster, and none of us wondered about what she had for breakfast.

However if you google "Literary Agent Pet Peeves" this offense inevitably is on the list. If you're reading this, then you probably know not to open with breakfast, or any other mundane task (unless the character's routine in is some way unusual and gives us a sense of setting).
If the book is written in first person then you know it's totally cheating to have them look in a mirror and describe themselves. If it were a game of Monopoly it'd be like you starting with $2,000 instead of the standard $1,500.



***An instance a mirror description worked well is in Veronica Roth's DIVERGENT, but that was because it was unusual for someone raised like Tris to look in a mirror. It provided setting, world-building, and also Tris's simultaneous pleasure and discomfort when she saw her reflection gave us a sense of character foreshadowing. If you're going to do it, then that is how it should be done.***

Enough of the obvious. If you've somehow found this blog then you already know - Start with the Action!
The proper starting point was something I had a very difficult time finding in my manuscript. See, like you, going in I knew all the basics, and what Not to do. There is a hidden formula in my mind though for revealing a fantasy world that you not only escape to, but also somewhere in your heart believe exists. For me it has to be gradual. A colorful cocktail instead of a shot - that illustration is crude, but accurate. Some people like to start with shots, then maintain a buzz with a beverage of their choice through the night. I like to sit, sip my colorful drink, and then when I get up from my chair I realize that my legs don't function quite as gracefully as they usually do. I like my stories told the same way - to change my perceptions without leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

Often an agent or editor will voice their distaste for prologues. This was a stumbling block for me as well. My book has a prologue. The inciting incident that makes my girls who they are happens when they are infants. Nothing that advances the story occurs within the intervening 13 years, but that inciting incident has to be there because the only other participant in the Very Beginning is now dead.

So how do you know where to start your story?

First, you have to know what kind of story it is you want to tell. Your Voice and your characters will help you determine where to start.
But don't waste a word. Words are precious. You might be trying to write a sweeping epic with a million twists, turns, and nuances. You want to break every barrier, trope, and cliche and spin it on its head. Do it! But don't waste our time; don't water down our drink.
Some agents may think you're watering it down, and you won't get the chance to tell them "No, no! That's a special ingredient you won't feel until it kicks in around book 4."
That's fine. As long and your not beating around the bush, and you know you're not then that's totally fine. Some people like shots, that's all. Your agent will say, "Hmm. This tastes good, but it could use a little of this..." or "This is the best drink I've had in a while; got any more?"


It's all in the beginning.
Nothing hamfisted, nothing that's been done a thousand times over, but also nothing that weighs you down.
I tried deliberately slowing down the fantasy reveal in my manuscript. I thought it was all too much too soon. Thus the first several drafts were hilariously (dangerously) overwritten. Trust your story, trust yourself, and start where you know it starts; not where you want it to, or where you think it should. Trust that part of you that wants to cut loose and dive headfirst into all of your awesome!
Then find a CP; after that find a Beta audience...by the time the dust settles you'll have something worthy of an agent's attention.

Until we meet again...

Counting Blessings

In honor of today, during which a great many people are advocating Marriage Equality, I thought I'd celebrate how far we have come (as there are so many others who could more precisely outline how far we still have to go).

I'm thankful for the great number of agents, editors, and other publishing professionals who seek out books with LGBT characters or themes.
But let's not forget that there are a great many books with LGBT characters already out there. You may also notice that many of these are/have been on various bestseller lists......

The Vampire Chronicles (Lestat, Armand...basically all of them at one point or another)
Hero (Thom)
The Gemma Doyle Trilogy (Pippa)
The Hunger Games (Cinna)
The Diviners (Henry)
the Gone series (Dekka, Edilio, Roger)
The Mortal Instruments series (Alec, Magnus)

and let us not forget my personal role-model, the old wizard I aspire to be: Albus Dumbledore from the Harry Potter series (as if that needed explanation).

These are just the books that I can think of off the top of my head. These are books you know about, have passed in bookstores on the bestseller rack, have read about online and in the paper. In the literary realm LGBT people are everywhere - just like in reality - and that is a beautiful thing.
We continue to struggle for equality everywhere, but not in the pages of books, not in the hearts of readers, and not in the minds of writers. For that, I am so thankful.

Feel free to share books with LGBT characters I haven't already listed below!

Until we meet again...

The Prince of Purple Prose Tries to Abdicate the Throne

"Purple Prose" - sounds pretty doesn't it? Well, it isn't pretty...it's awful.

I, like most baby-writers, am guilty of this terrible crime - a sufferer of this merciless disease. So much so that I've shamefully labeled myself the Prince of Purple Prose. This post is how I discovered I had a sickness, found hope, and began treatment of this woeful affliction.

I started what became my first completed MS on November 15, 2011. If you've read the blog highlighting my process (As the Gears Turn) then it shouldn't surprise you that I finished my first draft on January 16, 2012.

You can't imagine how thrilled I was.

My best friend Kim was there when the idea crept into my head in the wee hours of 3am on November 13, 2011. I texted her what I now know to be a very crude example of a Pitch. When she woke up she responded with "I really like that idea!" and so I plotted and planned book one for two days then I got started.

Just before midnight on January 16, 2012 I hit "Send" allowing Kim to be the first person to read an entire manuscript that I had written.

Mere seconds after e-mailing her, this was my face:



I realized that I jumped ahead in my writing - skipping over a part that gave me trouble - and never went back to add very important (like, lynchpin-of-plot-twist-important) information in! A text was sent informing her of this.

Days later, life intervened, and all writerly-thoughts/bookish things fell by the wayside for a time.

Finally the month of May rolled around.

I opened up the e-mail that I sent my Kim containing the first draft of my MS. I was certain it needed a little polishing. I definitely needed to go back and add that chapter, and a few other lines scattered throughout for foreshadowing and clarification. Come to think of it, I didn't remember Kim ever getting back to me on how she liked it!

Cue the most Humbling/Mortifying experience of my writer-life.


                     "It's just so AWFUL!"

The MS was garbage. Absolute garbage. I called Kim immediately.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?"

God bless her for being tactful, the poor girl couldn't make it beyond chapter 5. It was just that bad. It was so bad my best friend couldn't bear it.

I set to what would eventually become a re-write. I called it "editing" to make myself feel better.

Many, many things changed (and actually there were a few paragraphs here and there that stayed the same) By October I had something I was rather proud of, but still needed polishing.



In November, I got a partial request by the very first agent I queried - within 2 hours of sending! I nearly fainted.

One of the very first things Agent A said to me was: "If it is a prologue then it could use some trimming." But Agent A still requested the first 30 pages. The next day I received a very helpful rejection. I made appropriate changes (calling my prologue a prologue for one, instead of trying to class it up by naming it a chapter), and added my MC's into the prologue - because I've heard some people like starting out a story by getting to know the protagonists - whod've thought?

The day I queried Agent B (after I had already sent the query) I went to Barnes & Noble after work, and was scouring the Acknowledgments pages of books that fit my genre to see who to add to my query list. The first two in a row I picked up were Agent B!

 "Kim, it's a sign," I texted.

The next day Agent B requested the FULL! If you heard a small explosion somewhere in the distance on November 29, 2012 - that was me.

                 "NAILED IT!"

I wrote each chapter of my MS in a separate word document. Even upon the manuscript's completion I never put the chapters together in one complete file. So, despite my querying, I had no idea of the actual word count of my MS.
If you're a querying writer, and have some idea of how this process works then you can imagine and appreciate my terror when I discovered that upon consolidating my MS to one, double-spaced, Times New Roman, 12 pt font Word Document my debut YA Fantasy novel was 500 pages at 113,139 words.

113,139 words.

Let that sink in.




I threw caution to the wind and hit send. By the next morning I had read every single blog post Agent B had written for the last two years, I went to QueryTracker and determined an average response time on requested materials. From my extensive (AKA insane) calculations, we would fit together like peanut butter and honey, and I had 12 days to wait....

It was almost two months.

I received a polite rejection mid-early January. But since the agent had requested the full, I hadn't queried anyone else. So from November (when the Agent made the request) until mid-early January I hadn't even glimpsed at my MS. I was too nervous. There were times I literally almost suffered a cardiac event when my phone would buzz with an e-mail. Then I would unleash a string of curses at Amazon for sending me spam and daring to get my hopes up.
I got the heartbreaking response, and immediately set to querying my next round of agents...

Until I read over what I had sent Agent B.

I literally almost fell asleep reading my own chapter two.

The audience doesn't need to know which hand she used to flip the lightswitch, or how the lampshade "filtered the bulb's soft, yellow glow giving the forty year old living room a lived-in, but well-loved atmosphere that made the formerly garish, floral printed couch seem warm, inviting, and full of memories." THAT, ladies and gents, is Purple Prose. My characters were leaving the house. Just. Leaving. The house.

After I calmed down, but before I stopped berating myself I set to revising. I got it clean. Pretty-ish. And better still, Twitter caused a new Agent to catch my eye.

Agent C had my attention instantly. New to the market, dedicated, intelligent, kind,...so many other positive things that I'll wrap it up with a bow and call it Perfect.

Except for the fact that Agent C didn't really represent YA Fantasy. There was a glimmer of hope though (I'm always hopeful) and after I cleaned some of this, and polished some of that I held my finger over the Send button for a few days. Agent C and I were Twitter-friends. What if I sent it and they didn't like me anymore?! What if they thought my writing was terrible? What if I had gotten their hopes up, and my story was a terrible disappointment?

The amount of patience I have only allowed me to wait three days.

I sent it, and it was mere days before I got the best writing advice I'd ever recieved.

Agent C rejected, not only was my intuition correct about them not representing Epic Fantasy, but because Purple Prose still could be found within my MS.

Agenct C - though they didn't represent my genre of work, and definitely had better things to be doing - took the time to actually read my prologue, and quote it back to me citing incidents of Purple Prose (though they were kind enough not to label it as such). Agent C also complimented my "knack for imagery" but warned me to be careful.

I was on cloud 9! You'd have thought Agent C had thrown me a parade, or presented me with a plate of Snickerdoodles. (Yes, Snickerdoodles make me that happy!)     

Thanks to amazing Agent C, some advice from Stephen King, and a suggestion by my excellent Critique Partner I have a prologue that barely spans 2 pages, and a clean, crisp, 19 chapter MS. Though I'm sure there's still an innane adverb hidden in there somewhere - there always is. Today I'm down to a tidy 96,309 words...and still shrinking. Every day I find a little more fat that needs trimming. My full MS is now in the hands of an agent, in part, because of these people.

My cup of gratitude runneth over.

All of that to say, if there's hope for me then there's hope for you.

Go forth! Write, Cut, Clean, Polish! Don't make my mistakes!

Until we meet again...